strength – The Ugly Truth

Remember as a kid how fun it was to stand with your arms out twirling in a circle as fast as you could? The world swirled by as you accelerated in speed. The rush kicked in, adrenaline rose and WHOA, WHAT A HIGH!! Then you attempted to walk in a straight line, only to wobble over off-balance without equilibrium. That same feeling we have all felt in our childhood innocence is exactly how I would describe adulthood today. Without the same “WHOA!”

Life for me has NEVER been simple. There has been a “rulebook” & then a book that applies to how my game will be played differently. It has never been Godspeed, rather “Girl, we are about to make you put in a LOT of work.” If I would describe life up to this point I would compare it to climbing a volcano mountain with balls of heated lava coming consistently to test my balance and strength. After so many heated balls of lava, you begin to question if it is even worth climbing that mountain. You begin to question what you were thinking even embarking on such a venture. You begin to question your strength. Your well of endurance begins to run low and tries to dry out. You get weak & that same adrenaline kicks in which makes your world swirl by faster the more you accelerate your speed. I remember asking my Dad one day WHY was nothing in my life simple….WHY was everything so tough, mentally & physically? WHY did I constantly have to put out fires every direction I turned?

His reply was simple, “Because you weren’t built that way.”

In trying times I always try to remember….You were built FOR SO MUCH MORE. Those few simple words my Dad said to me resonated with such a large unambigutious meaning. When you have put in YEARS of work and still aren’t feelings the wrath of the hard work, IT’S COMING. Lay the bricks daily and form the foundation. The walls will come later. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to scream. It’s okay to feel like you’re failing…as long as you are TRYING.

To the person who is tired and unsure of themself. To the person who has put in years of hard work & isn’t quite seeing the immediate results you wish to see. To the person playing both roles in the household. To the person grinding daily, just waiting for their “break.” To the person who feels like giving up isn’t an option, but it’s a nice brief thought. To the person just beginning their journey. To the person who hasn’t found the strength to start their journey. I have one word for you.

CRY THOSE TEARS, GET SOME REST, & FIND YOUR GRIT!!! Take your reins and show that bull who’s boss. If life were easy, then life wouldn’t amount to much. Ever noticed how easily some people become “simpletons?” Want to know why? Because it takes 0 effort to become comfortable in a life that requires little effort to float through. If you’re anything like me, that idea of life doesn’t resonate easily. Don’t become complacent. Become SO UNCOMPLACENT until you are able to reach back and lend a helping hand to the next.

In the words of my precious Daddy…“YOU WEREN’T BUILT THAT WAY!” Don’t confuse frustration and discouragement for failure. Keep going friend, gain those reins and find that GRIT that distinguishes YOU from the REST!

XoXo,

One Tired Determined Single Momma.

I have friend’s who are married. Friends who are separated and friends who want a divorce. Friends who just had their first child after many years of not being able to conceive. Friends who are single (ME, that would be ME) and are waiting on their Unicorn. I have overly optimistic friends, “fake it until you make it” friends,”eeyore” friends, friends who always need a pick-me-up and friends who I can always count on to pick me up. These friends who I speak of all have one thing in common. They are my group of Women!

Want to know the one thing me and these women all have in common? WE ARE JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE & THRIVE! I never have fit in with those Mom’s who think they shit rainbows and fairy dust. Want to know the women I vibe with? Women who are real, who aren’t afraid to admit their kids are assholes, women who are vulnerable when needed. Women with backbones of steel who rise to slay. Women whose only judgment passed onto one another is whether our eyeliner from the night before is presentable for morning soccer matches. THESE ARE MY WOMEN. Empowering, nonjudgemental, real, raw, and effortlessly genuine.

I became a Mom at the age of 20 and struggled with finding “friends” who accepted me as I was. With a newborn, my parents who were married for 30+ years going through a divorce, my family divided, I couldn’t find a stable bone in my body, and I loved to party! Having a newborn and partying don’t mix right? Well, it was my coping mechanism. During this time I learned these “friends” I strived so hard to “fit in” with would not matter one bit to my 30 year old self. I wanted acceptance. I wanted to fit it. I wanted to be like the other girls. It wasn’t until many years later I recognized, I was not born to fit in! The 20’s are hard years. You are so unsure of yourself. You haven’t quite figured out where exactly you are supposed to fit in, who you are or who you were meant to be. It wasn’t until I was approaching 30 that I truly started to feel comfortable in my skin, my decisions in life, and the road I had begun to pave. It was nothing but a dirt road for almost a decade. The only pebbles on that road were from mud puddles that harden to replicate a rock, only to dissipate into dust.

Fastforward to 30 and WOAH! HELLO SISTER! I AM WOMEN, HEAR ME ROAR! I see so much beauty in women. We are a juggler of trades, we are CEO’s of our own committee, we are so many roles wrapped into one person. Yet, we doubt ourselves, we down our bodies, we don’t feel as if we are enough. Let me tell you! As women, YOU are more than enough. Our bodies MAKE HUMANS! Remember the saying “Lions, and Tigers, and Bears, Oh my!” That is us. That is a Woman. We are a lion, a tiger, and a bear. We are soft yet hard, sensitive yet aggressive, protectors, nurturers, shields and staples.

With this being said, do not walk into a room and wonder if the other moms will “like you.” Walk into that room and wonder if you will like them! As women, it is our job to empower each other, raise each other up, be raw with our struggles, promote one another, and push one another to be the best mom/person we can. When you’re out in public and see a Mom struggling with her small child or a teenager lagging behind her, give her a small smile and a three finger salute. As women, we should stick together, knowing we are all just trying to survive and thrive.

It’s taken me a long time to realize, I do not want to blend in a crowd. I do not care to sit with the Judgie Judys on the sidelines. I am not your Pampered Chef Paula, your DIY Brenda, or your Etsy Susanne. I have lots of tattoos, I cuss, and I give my children unlimited screen time while I work. I am a women who is exhausted, who’s kids are assholes (some days), and a mom who thanks the Lord above for whomever created dry shampoo. Trying to embrace life, one day at a time.

I do not want to sit with the mean girls! But you can always sit with me.

The Ugly Truth

Tag: strength

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“You Can’t Sit Here.”